hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
