I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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