from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Randomize
