We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
