3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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