I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I feel like abortions should bother me more
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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