Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Randomize
