Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
