Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
