i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Randomize
