Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I smell like Dick and happiness
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
