I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
