Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
