i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
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