dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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