yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
