dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
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