you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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