Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
