you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
