did you get engaged???
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
