I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
