I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
