i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Randomize
