just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
