ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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