Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
