I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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