your parents love me but you hate me
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
