just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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