the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
