is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
