Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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