Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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