and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
