Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
