If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
