He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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