Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
dude i'm inner monologue high
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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