Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I will die if light touches me.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
