OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
