So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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