u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize
