so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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