Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize