we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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