so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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