Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
