we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm like, not good at living.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
