Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
