Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
