oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
