the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
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