Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
It's rum buckets o'clock
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize