At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
