STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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