Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize