i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
